Naruto: Only if

Naruto absent-mindedly gazed out towards the water. The dark skies above him were clearer then most nights. The lake was completely still, resembling a mirror that reflected the stars and moon above him. He casually flung a stone into the water, the image of the moon rippled by the disturbance. He sighed, leaning his head back.

'The sky's so clear,' he though mildly, 'But the stars themselves look clouded.'

(I run, but only if
Someone can run by my side.)

Stepping to his feet, he wandered around the lakefront. His eyes glazed over, lost deep in thought. Should anyone have caught a glimpse of the blonde, not one of them could have told you what he was thinking. His posture was slouched, walking as if it was a chore, or a bother. Though to some it was. However, this is a particularly strange action for the boy. He was, after all, the Famous- or, rather, infamous -Uzumaki Naruto.

(I smile, but only if
There's no other way to hide.)

There was a reason behind the boy's behavior, oh yes. Because someone that was most likely a complete stranger had caused him to do what so many thought impossible. They caused him to break.

(I mend, but only if
There's someone to help me heal.)

It had all begun the instant he woke up in the morning. October 10th, his birthday. Most children would smile on their birthday; maybe have a party, some gifts. They got to feel special. But this particular soul woke up as if this was his damnation. His eyes flickered open hesitantly, only to see a lonely room in an empty house.

There was no party.

There were no gifts.

And nobody was there to make him feel special.

(I'll be happy, but only if
I had capacity to feel.)

Naruto carefully treaded into his kitchen. Every day on his birthday, there would be something broken, perhaps smashed against the wall. He treaded into the kitchen, heart rising with hope, only to have them beaten down again. On the wall there were poorly scrawled and horribly spelled messages-

"gO BAKK TO YeR hOME In HEll DaMM DEMuN!"

“YeR a MeNNaCE!”

“DaMm FAWX!!!”

But the last one hurt the most.

“NoBODdY LoveS YoU!”

Naruto's eyes clouded over with unshed tears, but refused to let them fall.

(I cry, but only if
There's nobody else to see.)

After hours of tedious scrubbing, the wall was washed. You could barely tell anything had been written there. But to Naruto, the words were etched in his mind, plaguing his subconscious. He decided to go out for a walk, and made a resolution to avoid any villagers. There was no such luck. He ran as fast as he could from the busiest part of the street, dozens of adults chasing him, pelting random objects at the forsaken child. Screaming at him, cursing his existence and his very being. Even if he could avoid the rocks, the sticks, even small pieces of furniture, each time they screamed it felt like they had all hit him head on. Finally, one woman tried to even throw a knife at him. Naruto felt tears sting at his eyes.

'Do they really want me to die...?'

(I'll grow, but only if
They'd simply set me free.)

Finally, after feeling like he had completely lost them, he had come upon that particular lake. He'd never seen it before, so he decided he would be safe there. Countless times, he contemplated going back home. But he only had to remember the onslaught only hours before, and stopped. He figured he would be safe at nightfall. But even now, hours after the sun had set he didn't feel safe.

(I'll bleed, but only if
My heart is there to beat.)

"They... have to have gone home by now... right?" He whispered, trying to convince himself.

Naruto stealthily wandered the streets of Konoha. Not a villager in sight. He dared not feel relieved, however, because he knew there were some who would linger. Those who were desperate to see him in pain.

(I'll stand, but only if
I feel stable on my feet.)

Naruto smiled to himself. He was only yards away from his home. He ran towards the doorway, when something made him stop dead in his tracks.

Uchiha Sasuke, holding a paintbrush. Above him, on Naruto's door, similar handwriting was scrawled with red paint.

"GeT OUT Of Our VilLAGe!!!"

Sasuke glanced at the paintbrush, then at Naruto. His eyes widened, and he seemed strangely panicky. "Naruto, I- I... It's not-"

Naruto found his voice, but it came out as barely a whisper. "It's fine, Sasuke."

He lifted his head, the expression on his face unreadable. "It's not like you're the first."

Sasuke blanched, his pale skin even ghostlier than normal. What did he mean by that?

"After all, who wants to celebrate the birth of a demon?"

(I'm brave, but only if
There's nothing real to fear.)

"W-what?" Sasuke stammered. "Naruto, I didn't-"

Naruto smiled, but not the one so many were used to. It was more of a smirk, twisting his features into an ugly and disgusted grin. "Come on, Sasuke. Don't feed me that piece of bullshit." The smile widened. "You aren't one to go back against your actions, now are you?"

Sasuke seemed to have lost his voice. He tried to speak, but all that came out were dry, hollow breaths.

Naruto's eyes glinted maliciously. This was it, this was how he could vent his frustration. On someone who once tried to kill him, who made his life hell...

"Don't tell me you're suddenly a coward?" He snarled, the smile on his face warping into a sneer. "Now, now, that isn't the heartless bastard I know. Have you suddenly lost your nerve, Sasuke? Or are you so arrogant that you can't even spare me your precious word?"

Sasuke stepped back, dropping the paintbrush. "B-but I didn't..." One though kept racing through the Uchiha's mind.

(I'll scream, but only if
There's no one that can hear.)

'This isn't Naruto... This isn't Naruto...'

(I'll fight, but only if
It makes me become strong.)

Naruto stepped forward, and grasped the Uchiha's collar. Sasuke couldn't move, frozen with shock.

"Get out of my sight," He snarled.

"Naruto, I- I didn't do this, Naruto..." He gasped, "I came by and I saw-"

"DON'T FEED ME YOUR FUCKING LIES, UCHIHA!" Naruto said, cutting him off. This was the next best thing to hurting all those in the village who wanted him dead. Instead, he could hurt the one person who cared about him at all.

“But Naruto, I-“

“Just shut the fuck up, you twisted bastard,” He snarled. “I don’t need you to insult me just by being in my presence.” He dropped Sasuke to the ground, who promptly fell on his back. The Uchiha stood, eyes begging to give an explanation.

Naruto ignored the plead in Sasuke’s eyes and said, his voice cracking a little, “J-just leave me alone…”

And without another word, Uzumaki Naruto ran.

(I’ll hide, but only if
I can last for so long.)

It’s a shame, really. Had the blonde only looked back, he would have seen the raven-haired prodigy fall to his knees. He would have seen his eyes wide with shock and hurt. He would have seen him wipe the tears that were now trailing down his cheeks. He would have seen him cry. Had he stayed a little longer, he would have seen him grab a sponge and start wiping the words off of the door. He would have realized what the boy was saying was true: He didn’t do anything.

Had Naruto looked back, maybe he would have let the boy explain how he had just stopped by to ask why he wasn’t there for training. He also might have heard him say how he was so furious someone would write that on Naruto’s door, and how he was only in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Unfortunately, Naruto didn’t look back.

(I’ll change, but only if
I can simply improve.)

Sasuke, finally getting his wits about him, stood straight up. He rubbed his temples, frustrated. Why was Naruto being like this? Had something triggered him to do this? Why was he, all of a sudden, showing who he was behind a mask that Sasuke discovered only moments ago? Sasuke sighed. He knew Naruto was lonely; it was a wonder he didn’t snap before, really. Along with that loneliness came the animosity of almost anyone that came in contact with him. He had noticed it on several- even more than that- occasions.

Eyes showing those of utmost determination, Sasuke decided that he needed to find Naruto.

(I’ll win, but only if
I have nothing to lose.)

Sasuke decided to go into the general direction Naruto was going. On his way there, he ran into (quite literally, actually) Sakura. He accidentally collided into her, knocking her bags onto the ground.

“Ouch… Ah, Sasuke-kun. What are you-?” Sakura started to ask but was cut off. She stopped when she saw how urgent Sasuke looked.

“Sorry- have you seen Naruto!?” He asked, hastily handing Sakura her things.

Her brow furrowed together. “Yes. He seemed really upset… Poor guy… He ran by here a little bit ago. I think he might have been crying… I tried to stop him, but he just kept running.” She finished, her voice suddenly quiet.

Sasuke felt a small stab at his heart. “W-where is he?!” He asked.

(I need you, but only if
You could need me, too.)

Sakura pointed northeast of their direction. “That way,” She said simply. “And Sasuke?” She said, suddenly a bit stern.

“Yeah?” He asked.

Sakura’s eyes softened. “Please find him.”

Sasuke gave a quick nod. “Right.”

(I won’t lie, but only if
You promise to stay true.)

Sasuke came across the lake that, unbeknownst to him, Naruto had only just been. He caught sight of the blonde, and was about to call out to him when something made him stop.

(I’ll watch over you, but only if
You could watch me as well.)

Naruto was sitting around a small fire, tears streaming down his face. If Sasuke listened closely, he could hear him softly singing.

“Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday dear Naruto…”

His voice choked, and he barely sobbed out, “Happy birthday to me…”

Sasuke could only watch. So that was why…

‘Naruto…’

(I can catch, but only if
You’d do the same if I fell.)

Sasuke only watched. He could only watch his friend sob over a fading fire. The wind began to pick up before the fire flickered out. Soon, his sobs calmed into silent tears, each one more painful to see than the last. And still, Sasuke could only watch.

After a while, Sasuke couldn’t watch it anymore. In the course of a lifetime, one learns that sometimes, you just need to cry. However, no matter how heartless or impure, one also can learn that sometimes, you need comfort, too.

Sasuke stepped in front of Naruto, but Naruto didn’t move.

“Naruto, I…”

“Why do you hate me, Sasuke?”

(I’ll comfort, but only if
I can take the pain away.)

The question was so unexpected, so sudden. He at least expected Naruto to start yelling at him. But he didn’t expect him to be so… calm.

“I-I don’t hate you.” Sasuke mumbled.

For the second time that night, Naruto said to him, “Don’t lie to me…” But this time, he wasn’t yelling, he wasn’t even really talking. His voice was small, weak. “If you don’t hate me,” He looked up at him, desperation in his voice, “Why did you write those things on my walls and door?”

Sasuke went down on his knees to reach Naruto’s level. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he said, “Naruto… I don’t know who wrote that… but I… I didn’t.”

(I’ll open up, but only if
You promise that you’ll stay.)

Maybe it was the sincerity in his voice, or maybe it was the fact he was showing any emotion at all towards Naruto. But for whatever the reason, whatever the cause, Naruto believed him. And so, with a heart that seemed to weigh just a bit less, he smiled.

(I’ll hold you, but only if
You promise you’ll be there.)

Sasuke paused. He thought about telling Naruto something important, but decided to leave it for later. He figured there was something Naruto needed more right now. And of all the things Naruto thought Sasuke would do, this certainly was not it.

Sasuke wrapped his arms tightly around Naruto. He expected Naruto to pull away, maybe even be disgusted. But when he didn’t move, Sasuke tentatively said, “Naruto?”

A faint blush was tinged on Naruto’s cheeks. “Y-yeah?”

“…Happy birthday.”

And at that moment, the embrace traveled from one sided to whole-hearted.

(I might love you, but only if
I think that you may care.)

“Thank you, Sasuke…”

The moon, the stars, the trees, and the heavens all smiled down on the two boys. They had found something precious. They could seek security in each other’s arms.

(I just might love you, only if
I know you’ll always care.)

The black-haired Nin shut his eyes, and closed the distance between them.

The blonde-haired fox only smiled.

(I love you and I know for sure:
You’ll always, always care.)